What is he thinking ?

I have always wondered ‘what is going through my son’s head right now?’ ‘What is he thinking?’ Do his thoughts revolve around the cartoon characters he watches day and night? Is he thinking ‘will Diego be able to save Dora?’ or maybe ‘wish I could go to the snowfort and rescue the prince with the Backyardigans’. What are his thoughts? Then comes his wishes, what is he wishing for? Candy, bubble bath, outing in the park, meet Mickey? Sometimes he expresses his wishes – Amma, can I have a hot dog? Amma, can you and Appa come to pick me up at school? Amma, can you get me the Backyardigans CD from the Library? There are so many wishes that he expresses vocally, but I wonder how many go unexpressed. The other day, I was putting my elder son to sleep, I was in a hurry to dash to the fitness center, so I told him ‘come on, close your eyes and go to sleep, quickly’, he asked me ‘why do you want to go and run?’ His questions amaze me, his absolute favourite being ‘WHY?’ Every sentence of mine, is followed by his WHY? Sometimes I do get perplexed with the answers I have to give or make up for every ‘why?’

Another day, I took both my sons to buy a pair of shoes for my elder son. Both of them got into a for-no-reason push-pull episode, and I left the store with them, as I wanted them to understand, that their behavior was totally unacceptable. On my way to the car, I told my younger one – ‘we are going back home, because you were a messy boy and did messy things’. Prompt came his question ‘messssy booooy – meeeee?’ and placed his little hand over his chest. It took me some strength to keep a straight face.

Instances like these makes me curious about their thoughts. One moment they are at war, and the next instant when I go to inquire, they are hugging each other saying ‘I love you’. And I am left to wonder, did I hear the sirens of a battle? They are gazing at the TV set and cartoons for hours. A few times and they know all the dialogues. I am continually amazed at their ability to grasp things around them. My younger one, now knows, that if someone gets hurt, they go to the doctor, doctor gives medicine and asks to be careful. He asks with curious eyes, ‘Amma, did doctor say careful?’ Be it their extreme expressions of love in good night words and ‘I lub you too’ or their sleepy weary ‘gud morning’s they never fail to leave me without a boost of energy, the urge to go on and be there for them.

Nature's magic wand...

To two beautiful boys, for giving me this most beautiful and magical gift of nature..

He kicks me with his tiny legs
Or I wonder if its his hands
He moves around oh so often
Creating turmoils inside my belly
I see him on a screen
They point out his face
Look his eyes, this is hair,
See the nose, see the legs
All I see are the bumps on my belly
Rising and falling in rapid succession
I point here and I point there
And soon he's gone back to his deep sleep
I wait and I wait.. to see his tiny arms
They tell me, today, tomorrow, next week
Anxiousness and curiosity get the best of me
I wait and I wait.. till I feel the first anguish of pain
The pains come, the pains go
I walk, I lie, I shower but still I wait
Minutes pass, hours pass, a day passed
I see the head, I hear someone say

They wait like me with anxious breath

Everything a standstill for a moment
The next I hear, 'Here he is, he's so cute'
I hear the wail, to finally see him
the most beautiful thing,
the most magical being
I hold the bundle in my arms
I plant a kiss on the forehead
He slowly opens his eyes
Looks intently at my face,
As if he knew me all along
But this is so new to me
This miracle of nature, finally in my arms!!