Monday, December 28, 2009
Wishing that it would open up
And a cluster of wishes falls down upon me
I am gazing at the blue blanket
Imagining a making of concrete above me
Where my fingers touch every brick and cement
Where every wall speaks volumes of my dreams
I continue looking at the sky
Wishing it would open up
I could spread my arms and collect in their fold
Every cent that would rain down upon me
All these cents would form one brick in my dream
I am looking up at the sky
Longing for the warmth of the walls,
The hue of the paint that would adorn them,
The place I can call 'home',
And would give me a feeling of 'mine'
I look up at the sky
A drop of water touches my face
The sky opens up
It drenches me, my dreams and my hopes.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Ice Age playing on the TV
The noise of one kid playing with his aunt
The noise of a cartoon upstairs
Someone else is speaking on the phone in some corner
The water is trickling from the freezing from the tap beyond
The rain lashing at the windows adding to the cacophony
That was yesterday..
Its a new day, but the noises are still there
A kid throwing darts in the air
Another humming some sacred tune
Someone clearing their throat...
Outside the white flakes are swaying in the light breeze
On their descent downward
The whiteness is echoing its sound of purity
Amidst all this noise,
I hear the silence, like you
I hear the unspoken words, like you
The million expressions so near, yet so far
Those sounds echo in my ears, like yours
Amidst all this noise we hear the voices..
Voices of smiles, voices of happiness,
Voices of togetherness, voices of love.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Every inch beside the road is white
Nature has placed its white blanket on its every making
The roof of the church is blessed in white
Like a divine touch from the heavens above
The little branches of the barren trees
Giving shelter to the showers from above
A heap of the flurries outside my doorstep
I place my feet and they go deep inside
The lake which played with waves yesterday
Are a frozen sheath of water today
So soft and still, yet so scary
The postcard of nature fills the eye
Its white sheath whispers its awe.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Another holiday season approaches, lest there are no plans to unknown destinations, familiar faces now seek the wild on their own, probably common perceptions have fallen off the cliff on one of the earlier journeys. Wishing them well and hoping that their journey brings them joy is all that there is left to do. Loneliness is solitude's greatest blessing and curse. Sitting by the window, looking out at the gloomy sky, slowly snow begins to engulf the land in its white blanket.. And another holiday season passes by!
Friday, November 20, 2009
her arms are open
an empty a vessel in the ocean
without a drop of water
the warmth she one felt
is giving away to the dreadful cold
the cold is hitting her inch by inch
she longs like a baby
longing for his mother's touch
for the warmth that once engulfed her
the hold that told her
that everything was fine
the world was as it should be
she is protected forever
from the harms of the wild
no tear could touch her or harsh words
she is at a loss of words,
of feelings, of thought
a numbness casts its evil shadow
in its realm she stands still
longing for the warmth that once engulfed her
longing for the affection that once surrounded her
moments, days, weeks, months, years..
counting droplets of water in the wide seas
is there an end,
will the water ever drain out
she waits for the warmth,
the look that everything was okay
she looks at the horizon,
and sees no end
life seeming to be an endless tunnel
where she travels inch by inch,
the cold wind hitting her
in solitude, in pain, in silence, in tears
moments, days, weeks, months, years..
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
The stars in her womb
One by one she bares them all, her inner dark secrets
As the hidden truths emerge from the abysmal land
Insane people draw out shapes and give it names
They call her the Orion, the hunter and all funny names
They don’t see that its her secret
That maybe fell out in error
Shooting stars are another enigma
Stars fall, like everything that rises falls
Dumb people close their eyes and wish upon the star
What relation between something that’s falling and a hope
On happy days, she wears a blanket of clouds,
Hides all her stars in her blanket, for her alone to savor
Making the world beneath her gloom
For their lack of understanding,
Of mankind and her
On sad days, she bares open, all her children
Children gaze at the twinkling sky
Sing rhymes, wish upon falling stars
Again for their lack of understanding
Of mankind and her
I look upon the yonder skies
I see stars and clouds, which cannot be true
Confusion at its all time best
Painting a reflection of my mind…
It was a weekend, and after persisting for long, my usually-not-so-social father took us to his friend's place. Uncle had one son and two daughters. While my parents chit chatted with uncle and aunty, my brother and I were left to play with the girls. The older girl asked her mother if she could play with her Barbie doll. The first time I heard the name. She brought out this most-beautiful-doll-I-have-ever-seen dressed in a plain white frock, with pink ribbons and white lace. She had the most beautiful hair tied up in another pice of pink ribbon. The doll had a coffee table set, with a pristine tea set and tiny cushions for the sofa and chairs. The sofa and chairs were in white and cushions were blue on one side and pink polka dots on the other. There was also a bathroom set, with a bathtub, hand shower, bubble bath and towel. Barbie also had a couple of dresses to change. My friend, she was my friend now, because she was sharing her Barbie with me, well, so my friend decided to give Barbie a bath. She slipped the Barbie in the bath tub, poured some water and whisked up some bubbles. Before Barbie could finish her bath and dry up, a call come from the adjacent room. It was my father, yeah you guessed it right, it was time to go home. With mixed emotions, and last look at Barbie in the bath tub, I bade goodbye to my friend.
I dont think I waited till I got home to raise my request for a Barbie. Way back then, a Barbie doll cost a hundred rupees. Way too much to spend on a doll. My mother could have bought a week's grocery with that much money. After consistent Pleases' and repeated asking, my parents agreed to buy me a Barbie. We walked up to the closest toy store on Double Road and went to the Dolls section. There she stood on the shelf, looking perfect in her white frock, with pink ribbons and white lace, waiting to be mine. She was called "My first Barbie". I had liked her so much, I didnt want to take a look at the other models. Now was the crucial point. I couldnt have the living room and the bath tub set. It would be too heavy on my parents pocket. I had to choose either of them. I chose the living room set and thought, may be they will buy me the bathroom set later. The change of clothes turned out to be very expensive, so I stitched up a few dresses for Barbie, with old clothes at home. Probably that's when I learnt to sew. As the rule in the book says, I grew up and forgot all about the bathroom set and eventually the Barbie doll.
When I got back home yesterday and showed the Barbie doll to my mother, it brought an instant smile on her face. I know, the image of my first Barbie in her white frock just flashed through her mind.
Later in the evening, I watched a romantic Bollywood movie. Such movies, push me easily to the emotional side. I get carried away with the subtle love potrayed and thoroughly enjoy the two hours of imagination that plays on the screen. Just when the actors were going to get married, my wailing son, forced me to shut off the idiot box and rock him to sleep. Alas, more emotions in store this evening.
This morning, my son came and stood beside me and said 'Mom, I love you'. I asked him 'do you need a hug?'. He nodded. I held him for a long time. He asked me to close my eyes, and kissed me on my forehead. Wrapping my arms around my kids and feeling the tightness of their hug, leaves my emotions skyrocketing.
Last but not the least, the hug and kiss I gave my husband's mother this morning, brought a lump to my throat. At seventy she is making a trip alone back to India today to be with her grand daughter. After a few weeks she is going to make another twnety hour journey on a flight to be with her grandsons. I hope I can stand up and walk, if I ever live to match her age.
All the emotions flooding my brain, forced me to make these keystrokes. Oops! A microsoft outlook reminder window just popped up. Time to put down my emotions cap and wear my other go-back-to-work one!!
Many a times we think, if our life could follow the path of a story. An imagination. But wishes are wishes. Life has its own plan. The only invisible thing on earth - the plan of life. Everything else doesnt exist. You never know where the turns are, stop signs are, which way, nothing. A journey to an unknown destination, via an unknown path, is life, very real, very known.
Thought provokers have said, enjoy what you have, glad with what you have, find happiness in them. But what if you cannot? What if you yearn for the imaginary things? Thats when you become an author or lose out on the opportunity called 'life'.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Another day, I took both my sons to buy a pair of shoes for my elder son. Both of them got into a for-no-reason push-pull episode, and I left the store with them, as I wanted them to understand, that their behavior was totally unacceptable. On my way to the car, I told my younger one – ‘we are going back home, because you were a messy boy and did messy things’. Prompt came his question ‘messssy booooy – meeeee?’ and placed his little hand over his chest. It took me some strength to keep a straight face.
Instances like these makes me curious about their thoughts. One moment they are at war, and the next instant when I go to inquire, they are hugging each other saying ‘I love you’. And I am left to wonder, did I hear the sirens of a battle? They are gazing at the TV set and cartoons for hours. A few times and they know all the dialogues. I am continually amazed at their ability to grasp things around them. My younger one, now knows, that if someone gets hurt, they go to the doctor, doctor gives medicine and asks to be careful. He asks with curious eyes, ‘Amma, did doctor say careful?’ Be it their extreme expressions of love in good night words and ‘I lub you too’ or their sleepy weary ‘gud morning’s they never fail to leave me without a boost of energy, the urge to go on and be there for them.
Friday, July 17, 2009
He kicks me with his tiny legs
Or I wonder if its his hands
He moves around oh so often
Creating turmoils inside my belly
I see him on a screen
They point out his face
Look his eyes, this is hair,
See the nose, see the legs
All I see are the bumps on my belly
Rising and falling in rapid succession
I point here and I point there
And soon he's gone back to his deep sleep
I wait and I wait.. to see his tiny arms
They tell me, today, tomorrow, next week
Anxiousness and curiosity get the best of me
I wait and I wait.. till I feel the first anguish of pain
The pains come, the pains go
I walk, I lie, I shower but still I wait
Minutes pass, hours pass, a day passed
I see the head, I hear someone say
The next I hear, 'Here he is, he's so cute'
I hear the wail, to finally see him
the most beautiful thing,
the most magical being
I hold the bundle in my arms
I plant a kiss on the forehead
He slowly opens his eyes
Looks intently at my face,
As if he knew me all along
But this is so new to me
This miracle of nature, finally in my arms!!
Freckles on my forhead, indicate a thought
When I try to pen them down, am I at a loss of words?
I want to put down some words
Alas! Writing is creating a mirage.
Is it the bout of medicine inside me
Or is it the last hours of the this enigma
My hair keeps falling now and then
I visit the doctor now oh! so often
The doors to eternity wait to be opened
Someone behind them ready to move
A few days, a few months, wonder whats remaining
In this balance sheet of life
I await with deathly silence
To be welcomed unto His world
This moment of indecisiveness
Oh so tempting, Oh so scary!
Will I write all my thoughts
Before the final moment comes
Ah! this medicine makes we weak
Ah! this medicine kills my thought...
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
The water beneath the sun glows in her glory
Reflecting the colours she so vibrantly displays
Water captures her every hue and feeling
Like a mirror oh! so perfect.
The water so serene, seems still like the earth
Yet its moving inside her, leaving ripples on her way
She cools the wind that blows on my face
Giving me a chill down my spine
The air blows so gently, taking away my heat with her
Still she never fails to make me cold.
The ball of fire burns, but I dont feel the heat,
The Earth is taking shelter and retiring for the day
The elements captured in my senses
Gives me the joy of an evening well spent.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
How many rounds of filling-up-glasses did we do? I vaguely remember. They never filled our glasses full, rather our glasses were half empty. Whichever way you see it, my mind was light, so was my heart. For a few hours, I had put down everything, as if I had shed days of thoughts, decisions, facts and figures. The only conversation I was thinking about was what the others and I was saying. And all the conversations were filled with fun and laughter. Few words and lots of laughter. Some sounded like wet wood chips crackling in the fire, some were like an engine starting up, yet some sounded like the cries of some animal. Haa haaa!! There was no particular topic we were discussing, nothing in this world really appealed to us, but we were having a conversation. The glasses emptied, filled up, err.. half-filled up again. The chill air, was playing its part in giving us goosebumps. Somebody fetched us coats so we could continue to enjoy the night. Reminds me of a song, I once learnt in my junior years of school "All I want is a room somewhere, Far away from the cold night air..." We were truly living the moment!!
Just then, we saw the shimmering light again.. there she was, playing her game again with the clouds and our minds.. We walked inside to warmth and sleep, so that our minds could rest, to wake up, to face the hurdles of life and reality.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Few minutes ago, I was deep there, inside her arms, she engulfed me with her prowess, her arms stretched out. I looked up to see from where she was coming, the mist blinds me this time, hiding her face. I look down, the waves forming one instant and disappearing the next. Tiny whirlpools, telling their own story. They too disappear in the blink of an eye.
She awakens a thought in me, to go with her. To hold her hand and walk with her to silence. There are noises everywhere, of people each one echoing WOW at her beauty. But she silences them all with her drum roll. Amidst this noise, she invites me to make a journey with her, where she will show me the end of the tunnel. However inviting she is, the land holds me back. Her chains around me are locked with the heaviest metal. The key thrown away or probably traveled with her majesty to the deepest seas. Someday in the future I will make the journey, with her, held in her arms to silence. But today, I must go on.. Alas! I walk back, to land, to life..
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Time has had its own versions of definitions and interpretations. Some people say, time is a healer, some say time waits for none, time is what the clock tells you and so on. I would not be able to capture everything here, but let me tell you what I think of time, or atleast I used to believe. Time is now... this moment... this breath. Live it well, and the way you choose. But, in my journey of life's myriad ways, I have come to learn, that many a times, time is not ours. We are led by people, and time for the most part is theirs, and we tend to follow, without much control over our actions. Then time, is not mine. But at the bottom of my heart, I belive in 'sieze the moment', if its gone, it gone forever, never to return.
I have been on so many time zones in these past few years, the one I cherish close to my heart is Pacific time, the times when I was in California. My trip to Arizona, took me back to Pacific Time. When my Delta Airlines Boeing 767 touched down at Phoenix airport, I turned the dials of my inexpensive watch three hours behind. The adrenaline rushed through me and gave me a familiar feeling of being on known grounds. But did that stop me from doing my routine mathematics? No. This time I was subtracting hours, to see what my children were doing back home, or adding many hours to see if my father was awake. Some ghosts never rest!
Now the bottom right of my screen tell me, that I have 15 more minutes of battery power on my laptop. That means its time for me to hit the sack. Oops! My cellphone just rang... My brother just arrived, since he had to stopover at Denver, I juggled with Mountain, Central and Eastern time zones at the same time today. As complicated as it can get !!
I have been meaning to say, "thank you" for your time to read this blog. May you have the time to cherish and live each moment of life to the fullest!!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
The first trip made me, moreover so, my parents, confident, that indeed I could travel without assistance. This kick started the umpteen journeys that I undertook for various reasons to different destinations in the path of life. Every time I traveled, looking at the numerous co-passengers, this thought would cross my mind - where are all these people going? And to date, I don’t know the answer.
As I encumbered upon new journeys, which for some or the other reason, I had to do alone, I started liking the solitude while traveling alone. Sometimes traveling with friends seemed like a crowd. The excitement of boarding the locomotive by myself, finding the seat I reserved, reading my book on and off, looking outside the window and losing myself to my deepest thoughts; everything instilled a sense of adventure in me. The slight fear that I was alone, but the confidence that I am a woman and old enough to step into the world, encouraged me to make many more journeys, and each time to a farther place, touching upon places that I had located earlier only in the atlas.
Another significant 'yaathra' was the one I made with my father to Manipal. This was indeed a journey, to a new life, a new avenue. For the first time I was going to live away from my parents and from the four walls of my home, that had nurtured me in its warmth all through the years. This time I had two big VIP suitcases, felt more like I was going away forever. I first traveled to my grandmother's house to seek blessings from my elders. I was the first child in the family going into an Engineering college. The next day, I went to meet my father at Calicut. Being a photographer, he was there on an official visit. While he was waiting for me, he said he had watched two movies in the local theatre, the only movies I remember him watching at a theatre. I should say - I was impressed. We checked out from the hotel he stayed in, and boarded a luxury bus to - Manipal. It was around December and Manipal was arid and dry. The place was a surprise to both of us and the heat dampened our spirits. We walked from the college to the hostel a distance of two kilometers, this distance which I would tread upon a thousand times in the next four years and would end up weaving so many memories to cherish. He registered me at the Ladies Hostel, and said he was going to leave. I stood at the gate, and watched him walk down the road, till he got an auto-rickshaw to take him to the bus stand. I don't know how he got back home after that, which bus he took, I must have asked, but the memory of him slipping away from the horizon, leaving me alone in an unknown land to figure out everything by myself, has overshadowed the details he gave me about his return journey. After this I had many more travel experiences from and to Manipal, with friends and alone, every one of them etched and put away in my chest of memories.
The next milestone journey was taken on Indian Railways - Kanyakumari express from Bangalore to Trivandrum on Oct 13, 2000. The first job I won after a long battle of interviews brought me to this city. I stepped out of Trivandrum Central railway station, holding the same VIP suitcases that had once accompanied me to Manipal. I took a good look at the scene in front of me. A poster of a Malayalam movie, an array of auto-rickshaws, hustle and bustle of KSRTC buses at Thampanoor station and the big clock behind me standing high and telling me something. I am not sure what, or why I took a good look at the clock on the tower, but I did look at the clock, it must have been somewhere around 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Here I was again, in a new place, alone, trying to figure out everything, right from where I was to work to where I was to stay. This time there was no ladies hostel to register myself, but thanks to family friend whose parental house gave me shelter for a few days. That was the beginning of another journey, a journey that would shape my destiny.
This time I am picking up my luggage bag, which will be a single piece of luggage, to a place called Tucson in Arizona. The destination is my brother, who will graduate with Masters in Computer Science from University of Arizona. This travel is a dream comes true. When he walks on stage, I will see myself walking beside him, and being hooded as an MS Graduate; something I had wanted to achieve years ago, but as strange as life is, it took me to unknown destinations.
This excerpt from Nida Fazli's ghazal, aptly describes life's myriad ways -
"Apni marzi se kahaan apne safar ke hum hain,
Rukh hawaon ka jidhar ka hai, udhar ke hum hain."
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
उनके जीवन में एक नया दिन, एक नई शुरुवात,
हवा भी अपना जादू चला रही है
पत्तियाँ इसी खुशी में दोल रही है शायद
मेरे चेहरे पर एक मुस्कान की कमी है
सूरज और हवा वो खिला नही पाती
झरोके से देखूं तो सब कुछ हरा भरा है
दिल में झाँकू तो एक वीरानगी सी चाई है
मेहफ़िल है मेरे चारों ओर,
कितने लोग, कितनी हसी,
आईना देखूं तो मेरे चेहरे पर हसी है,
लेकिन क्या येह मेरा चेहरा है?
पेहचन नही पाती मैं अपनी तस्वीर को
कभी कबार पेहचान लेती हूँ अपनी परछाई को
इस नई सुबह मैं खोजने निकली हूँ इसी दुआ से,
के किसी मोड़ पर मेरी मुलाकात हो जाए, मुझसे,
इस बार आफताब और हवा मेरी मदद करदे शायद।
Monday, May 11, 2009
While flipping through the pages of a Filmfare, I found full page pictures of ladies of tinsel town. That inspired me to pick up a pencil and paper and try my hand at sketching. I managed a few portraits, and a few pictures of children from advertisement pages. After moving my eyes from the magazine to the paper a thousand times, I would make that final stroke and take a good look at my creation. With great pride, that I am my father's daughter would show the masterpiece to him. After looking at it with squared eyes, he would say, 'the lips are a little out of proportion', 'if you see the top part of the face, the eyes are not in the same plane', 'you need to add more details around the nose', 'the shading near the eye should be darker' and so on.. Each of his statements, helped me in my next sketch.
This was more than 12 years ago.
When I joined engineering at Manipal, I had a room-mate called Ashley R. Ashley was an architecture student and had to submit 2 sketches every week. With her heavy work load, she asked me to do a sketch once. The next thing I knew, I was doing her sketches every week. This prompted me to buy a sketch book for myself and I started putting my genes to work. This time again, I went to the local store to pick up a recent edition of - The Filmfare.
This was 8 years ago.
Few months back, while walking through the stationery aisle to pick up a writing tablet for my four year old son, I saw a "sketch book". Without further thought, I bought it; and kept it. Couple of weeks back, I opened the book and picked up a pencil. No, this time I didn’t have a Filmfare, I don't think you get Filmfare at local stores in the United States. This time, I picked up a picture on my desk of my little one. Many years have passed, but with each stroke, I remembered my father's words and tried to do justice to the picture and my genes. This is my rendition of my adorable Manikutty who spreads his smile to everyone around.
PS. Proportions around the eyes are still not perfect!
the moon shines upon the distant sky
‘tis brighter than the stars today
surrounded by a sheath of clouds
she is peeping from within
tonight is a night of solitude
i sit by my window
listening to the thunderous silence
looking at the moon peeping from within
an uproar of thoughts in me
yet the mind is calm after many nights
the thoughts dashing past each other
now the moon, just smiled from within
time is etching its memories,
the smiles, the laughter, the words,
there is no end to the string of emotions
ah! there she is, grinning at me from within
my dreams are taking me
beyond the distant horizon
i find peace in this wave of happiness
the moon tonight is sharing it from within.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Although, all mothers hope for the next stage of their child’s life to be easy, they reminisce the years gone by, right from the days when his tiny feet were kicking hard to get out of her womb. The anxiety then is ‘when will he come out?’ Once out and you find him sleeping for 16 hrs, you think, ‘wish he would start moving around’. With great difficulty this tiny human being, rolls over, moves through the confined space of a room, on his belly, lifts himself up and manages to balance his weight on his hands and knees. Soon, he starts crawling, and wants to get his hands on everything within his reach, bumping into the furniture and all your objects that you adorned your house. Just when he learns to manipulate the gadget buttons, you wish ‘only if he could talk’. The next thing you know, your wish is granted… he starts with the gaa-gaa’s and the goo-goo’s, until one day he surprises you with “MOMMY”.
If you are thinking, now I am done, you are mistaken, everything prior to this was prep-work, and the game is just about to begin. Fasten your seatbelt, now it is a roller coaster on which the button to turn off the ride is broken. Potty training, doctor visits, shots on time, daycare, food habits, sleep habits, school, alphabets, numbers, friends, gum, TV, fighting, ice-cream, candy, chocolates, sibling, cranky… the list is endless. There are a thousand questions you ask yourself each day – did he eat, is he sleeping well, did he eat his vegetables, did he drink milk, who are his friends, is he fighting with someone, is he watching too much TV, which is his favorite cartoon, is he running a temperature, what’s in his book bag….
Apart from all these external paraphernalia, what makes me feel special is his seamless confidence in me and how much I matter to him. The gleam in his eyes, when he sits beside me for a Mommy’s tea party at school. His hugs and announcements of “My mommy,” to make his brother jealous. All his expressions, that reflects upon this special relationship folds up under this hood.
At the end of the day, when you put him to bed, he gives you a kiss and says ‘I love you Mommy’, makes it all worthwhile
Happy Mother’s Day!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Do I know where I want to be today? Well, actually no! Are you thinking 'Women'? Why it is that woman are so confused? I sit because they have too many choices or too many responsibilities? I would pick the latter. We make so many decisions a day, small decisions and the not so small decisions. So there is a lot of room for confusion. After long thinking, my confused mind tells me to take the day off. Drive down the roads of downtown, way past Fall Creek Parkway and to the public library. The rains outside, will lighten my spirit of boredom and refresh the energy in me, like the ground. Old tunes from Bollywood movies choreographed in the rains, will add a touch of romance. Alighting from my car with an air of romance, I would pick up a book of my favorite author and find a place near the window, so that I can watch the rain lash by. Reading the lines would take me back to my footprints that I left in the sand. I would sit back for a few moments, watch the rain and drift back to yester years and smiles. The innocence of youth, brashness of thoughts and freedom to touch the sky. Times, when I would follow my heart and not bother about another soul in this world. Carefree! These thoughts would make me happy one moment and sad the next, almost pushing me to get back to my book listening to the splash of the rain.
Alas! I look at the screen staring at me, and the numbers on bottom right corner have a cruel look. They force me to come back to reality and tell me that I have another two hours to complete the monotonous tasks for the day, before I rush back to all the roles I play, apart from being me.
My fingers are now dialing the next call I need to be on. Again there are noises disturbing my thoughts....
The second aspect is the people. My son, his smile, his authority over everything in the house and the warmth he has for me. Then my baby, his way of welcoming me home every evening when I get back from a long day at work. All the attempts to draw a circle with bright crayons on the walls. His small feet which cover the house from one end to the other, one step at a time. Every waking moment that we spend together. Their food spills, books, cartoons, clothes, tantrums and much much more. Ever joke that is shared, every meal that is cooked together; the movies watched together; the friends who visit often and integrate into the house as if they were family.
A place that brilliantly accommodates each day of life is home.
Last aspect is 'freedom'. There is a connecting factor between 'home' and 'freedom'. The freedom to do the things you like, the freedom to say the things you want, the freedom to live without fear. If you cannot do the things you want in your house, then it’s probably not your house and you are a mere visitor. Scream, yell, talk, sing, cry, laugh, laugh out loud are all different ways to emote. If you can emote without fear, you are at home. A place where you can be what you are, is home...
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Most engineering students who enter the software industry nurture a common dream - to go onsite. From day one, sincere efforts are made to be the best, stand out in the crowd, so that the manager picks him/her as the next candidate for visa processing. Getting your name in the visa applicants list is half the goal achieved. What is it about 'going onsite’? Is it the 23-hour Boeing airplane ride which one literally sits through or is it merely the feeling that you are in the United States of America, the most powerful nation on the globe?
Going onsite can be compared to a child's first day at school. Till that day, the child grew up in a cozy, protected atmosphere of his house. Suddenly one day he faces a new environment, a whole new group of people he's never seen before, a different culture and the rest of the story is how he adapts to this change.There are pros and cons to this location-specific work environment. Onsite means exposure to the client personnel, ready accesses to project documents and of course the symbol before the numbers on your paycheck. Onsite personnel get the opportunity to be involved in the initial phases of the project, which one lacks when at offshore. The ability to represent one's firm at the client place is a distinction by itself. And there is tremendous opportunity to grow and sharpen your communication skills. A 'popular' myth about working onsite is that you get to wear jeans and sneakers to work. No Sir! USsociates embody organizational values even in their attire. Its business casuals all the way.
All said and done, the basis of survival – food, is a problem for many. Either you align yourself to the American fast food groove or mark the nearest Indian grocery store on your local map as a default location.
On the other hand, to live and work in an environment we grew up in gives us a sense of belonging and comfort. The vast sea of technical expertise and guidance at the offshore location is impeccable. Oops! I missed to mention the array of non-technical activities and personal development opportunities that knocks at one's door, rarely found at onsite. Being in India, equates to being at home, marking your attendance at most of the celebrations in your family - birthdays, weddings anniversaries et al.
So which is better - onsite or offshore? Let us not bother about this argument, because the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence and we will never stop dreaming!
In conclusion, don't get carried away by your onsite-returned colleague and his paraphernalia, and don't let your mother's food hold you back; success is defined by dedication, passion and teamwork.. Not location!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Has wondered if I could turn back time
Ask the waves to go back home,
So that I could tread once again
Onto my footprints in the sand.
I will start from where I started
I will follow a few steps, I think
Then trace a different path
For the waves to take home
Yesterday is what I know
Yesterday is what was there
Tomorrow is an unknown
I dont know if it will be there.
This time, I will make some better choices
Coz Yesterday taught me the wrong ones
I will laugh a little more
Yesterday showed me when I cried.
I would go back to yesterday
Run to it as fast as I could
Change many things one by one
To make them memories for tomorrow.
This time I wouldnt ask the waves to go back
I wouldnt look for my footprints
Would hold on to yesterday and feel happy tomorrow
That I was lucky enough to get a second chance!!
അത്രേം നിഷ്കളങ്ങമായിരിക്കട്ടെ ഈ തുടക്കം...
ഈ തുടക്കം കുറിച്ചിട്ട എന്റെ കൂട്ടുകാരിക്ക് സമര്പ്പണം ...